Most Feedback Isn’t Too Harsh, It’s Too Vague
18 July 2025
We often tiptoe around feedback like a parent around a sleeping baby.
We soften, dilute, or delay it … petrified it might land too hard.
But in practice, most feedback doesn’t hurt because it’s “too honest”.
It hurts because it’s too vague.
“You need to step up.”
“That didn’t really land.”
“You’re not being strategic enough.”
What do those even mean?
If feedback can’t be understood, it can’t be used, and if it can’t be used, it becomes noise - not growth.
Here’s the shift:
Replace judgment with observation
Replace labels with examples
Replace critique with clarity
Try this instead:
“In yesterday’s meeting, we were expecting a clear recommendation. What you shared raised good points, but we left unsure of your conclusion. Next time, can you signal your position more directly?”
Now that’s feedback someone can act on.
The goal isn’t just to say what you think.
It’s to say it in a way that helps someone get better.
Vague is safe.
Clear is kind.
Remember, the path to extraordinary is walked with a thousand small steps, you’re doing great!
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Barry Marshall-Graham
Executive coach and leadership advisor
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