WritingCoaching Corner

The First Small Tolerance

13 February 2026

Standards rarely collapse in a moment. They slip through the first small tolerance you let pass, then the next one feels easier.

The First Small Tolerance

The first small tolerance always feels harmless.

It looks like pragmatism.

It sounds like being reasonable.

You let the deadline slide because the team is stretched.

You ignore the sloppy update because the work is good.

You avoid the conversation because you don't want to pile on.

None of these choices are wrong on their own. The cost shows up later, when the exception becomes the new normal and the standard you never named is the one you're now carrying alone.

The difficult part isn't the big reset, it's the quiet moment where you decide whether to name a small slip. That's where standards are built or traded away.

A leader I worked with told me she felt like the team had changed. The truth was more subtle. The team was still capable, but the small tolerances had added up. The standard had moved, and nobody could point to the moment it happened.

If you want to raise the bar without becoming abrasive, start with the first small tolerance.

Notice it, name it, and explain why it matters.

People respond well to clarity when it comes with respect.

Questions to sit with:

Which small tolerance am I treating as temporary?

What standard do I expect but rarely name?

Where am I carrying the cost of an unspoken exception?

Standards don't need drama.

They need attention, consistency, and the quiet courage to say what's slipping before it becomes the culture.

The path to extraordinary is walked with a thousand small steps, you’re doing great!

Barry Marshall-Graham smiling

Barry Marshall-Graham

Executive coach and leadership advisor

IF THIS RESONATED

Get the Difficult Conversations Guide

A practical resource for leaders who want to say the thing that needs saying, without burning bridges or avoiding the moment.

More writing

Keep reading

11 May 2026

The Worry Tax: What Avoided Conversations Do To Your Head

Avoided conversations do not only slow the team down. They rent space in the leader’s head and charge interest until clarity arrives.

The Worry Tax: What Avoided Conversations Do To Your Head thumbnail

4 May 2026

Silence Compounds Into Leadership Debt

The conversations leaders avoid do not disappear. They accrue interest in trust, pace, standards, and emotional load.

Silence Compounds Into Leadership Debt thumbnail

27 April 2026

The Shadow Campaign: The Cost of Corridor Agreement

When people agree in formal rooms and dissent in corridors, leaders lose execution signal and authority quietly leaks.

The Shadow Campaign: The Cost of Corridor Agreement thumbnail

20 April 2026

The Ghost Economy: When Activity Replaces Ownership

When teams optimise for visible activity instead of named ownership, work appears busy while outcomes quietly drift.

The Ghost Economy: When Activity Replaces Ownership thumbnail

13 April 2026

When Everything Finds You

When every question, tension, and half-finished decision climbs to the leader, the issue isn't workload alone. It is the absence of a clear routing system.

When Everything Finds You thumbnail

6 April 2026

The Soft Ending Trap

Hard conversations rarely fail at the opening. They fail when leaders soften the close, leave the standard vague, and walk away without a real commitment.

The Soft Ending Trap thumbnail

30 March 2026

How to Stop Confusing Frantic Activity with Strategic Momentum

Why senior leaders get trapped in 'heroic execution' and how to build a rhythm that prioritises outcome over activity.

How to Stop Confusing Frantic Activity with Strategic Momentum thumbnail

23 March 2026

Why ‘Empowerment’ Fails Without the Clarity of Decision Rights

Why telling your team they are ‘empowered’ often leads to paralysis, and how to fix it with clear decision ownership.

Why ‘Empowerment’ Fails Without the Clarity of Decision Rights thumbnail

16 March 2026

How Your Desire to be Liked is Creating a Low-Fidelity Culture

Why being a ‘nice’ leader is often a form of standard-avoidance, and how to transition to supportive candour.

How Your Desire to be Liked is Creating a Low-Fidelity Culture thumbnail

13 March 2026

The Weight of Unshared Doubt

Why senior leadership feels lonelier as you rise, and why confidence is often just unshared doubt.

The Weight of Unshared Doubt thumbnail