It looks like ambition.
It sounds like high standards.
It gets rewarded, promoted, and praised.
But underneath?
The insecure overachiever isn’t driven by vision.
They’re driven by fear.
We all know one.
They have a fear of not being good enough or being “found out”.
A fear that if they stop (even for a second) everything will fall apart.
They deliver, exceed expectations, and carry weight that isn’t theirs.
They wear capability like armour, and exhaustion like a badge.
Here’s the catch:
The receivers keep rewarding the output, while the world of the insecure overachiever quietly erodes one “success’” at a time.
The joy and the pleasure gets sucked away.
The fear takes its place.
If you see yourself (or your someone you know) in this pattern, ask:
“Am I (or you) doing this because it matters to me, or because something has to be proved?”
“Who would I/you be without the achievement?”
“What part of me/you needs a little reassurance, instead of more responsibility?”
The goal isn’t to do more.
It’s to be whole, and at peace with ourselves … with or without the gold stars.
Good enough, can … sometimes … be good enough.
As long as the journey is filled with joy!
Remember, the path to extraordinary is walked with a thousand small steps, you’re doing great!
Barry Marshall-Graham
Executive coach and leadership advisor
Get the Difficult Conversations Guide
A practical resource for leaders who want to say the thing that needs saying, without burning bridges or avoiding the moment.
Keep reading
30 January 2026
Conviction Without Force
How to hold a clear position without pushing, and why steady conviction builds more trust than intensity ever will over time.
26 January 2026
When Calm Carries Authority
Why credibility grows when you stop performing certainty and start leading with calm, consistency, and clear boundaries.
22 January 2026
The Meeting After the Meeting
Why real alignment only happens when truth can survive the room.
19 January 2026
The Quiet Tax of Avoidance
Why avoidance creates decision debt and quietly erodes standards.
16 January 2026
When Being Believed Too Quickly Becomes Dangerous
12 January 2026
The Subtle Art of Doing Nothing
Why doing nothing is rarely neutral, and often the riskiest choice of all
9 January 2026
The Cassandra Effect - When Being Right Isn’t Enough
5 January 2026
A New Year, Not a New You
Why big goals only work when they fit into real life
22 December 2025
Thank You!
A Small Pause Before Christmas
19 December 2025
If You Give the Answers, You’ll Create a Queue
