The next level is hiding in the question you’re avoiding
23 May 2025

Most growth will not be blocked by a lack of answers, it’s very likely blocked by the questions we don’t want to ask.
In my own coaching experience, I’ve found that the most powerful breakthroughs come when someone finally turns toward the hard question they’ve been skirting around for weeks.
Not the convenient one.
Not the clever one.
The uncomfortable one.
Here’s one that usually cracks things open:
“What are you pretending that you don’t already know?”
It’s a simple one-liner. But it hits deep. Real deep.
It’s a question you can ask of others, or yourself. Both equally as powerful.
They/you might be pretending not to know that someone in the team has outgrown their role.
That their/your calendar reflects other people’s priorities, not your own.
That the story that’s being told about being “too busy” is really about fear of moving forward (growth).
Avoided questions often point to avoided decisions.
And that’s where the next level lives.
Hidden … behind the question that’s uncomfortable to ask.
Remember, the path to extraordinary is walked with a thousand small steps, you’re doing great!

Barry Marshall-Graham
Executive coach and leadership advisor
Get the Difficult Conversations Guide
A practical resource for leaders who want to say the thing that needs saying, without burning bridges or avoiding the moment.
Keep reading
30 January 2026
Conviction Without Force
How to hold a clear position without pushing, and why steady conviction builds more trust than intensity ever will over time.

26 January 2026
When Calm Carries Authority
Why credibility grows when you stop performing certainty and start leading with calm, consistency, and clear boundaries.

22 January 2026
The Meeting After the Meeting
Why real alignment only happens when truth can survive the room.

19 January 2026
The Quiet Tax of Avoidance
Why avoidance creates decision debt and quietly erodes standards.

16 January 2026
When Being Believed Too Quickly Becomes Dangerous

12 January 2026
The Subtle Art of Doing Nothing
Why doing nothing is rarely neutral, and often the riskiest choice of all

9 January 2026
The Cassandra Effect - When Being Right Isn’t Enough

5 January 2026
A New Year, Not a New You
Why big goals only work when they fit into real life

22 December 2025
Thank You!
A Small Pause Before Christmas

19 December 2025
If You Give the Answers, You’ll Create a Queue
