Happy 100th!!! - Stop Trying to Be Normal
5 December 2025
This is my 100th post!!!
If I’d waited to feel ready, perfect, or normal, this would still be an idea in a notebook or a passing thought in my mind … but normal doesn’t get you anywhere.
Normal avoids risk. Normal chases approval. Normal plays small.
If I’d stayed normal, I wouldn’t have shared a single word, never mind a hundred reflections on leadership, coaching, growth, and what it means to show up with intention.
And here’s what I’ve learned, over a hundred posts:
You don’t need to be polished. You need to be present.
You don’t need to be impressive. You just need to be real.
Somewhere along the way, many of us pick up the idea that we need to be more… normal.
Don’t:
Be too much.
Feel too deeply.
Stand out.
Fall behind.
However, as I heard Alain de Botton say in a recent Modern Wisdom podcast episode:
“You’re not meant to be normal. You’re meant to be whole.”
Think about about that.
Normal is a moving target.
A cultural construct.
A myth that convinces you to round off your edges and silence your inner depths … the ones that make you …well, YOU.
Wholeness, though … that’s something else entirely.
Wholeness says:
Bring your joy and your sadness.
Bring your ambition and your doubt.
Bring your strength and your vulnerability.
It asks for nothing to be left behind, and nothing to be edited out.
When coaching, I see this moment often:
When someone stops trying to appear together … and starts getting really curious about who they truly are.
That’s where their real work begins.
That’s where their growth lives.
John Candy said it best in Trains, Planes and Automobiles:
You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, you’re right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you ... but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I’m not changing ...
I like me.
So, give yourself permission:
Don’t aim to be normal.
Aim to be real, i_ntegrated_ and w_hole …_ because that’s where your power is.
That’s what this 100-post journey has really been about for me.
Not just finding my voice, not chasing perfection and certainly not being liked by everyone, but 100% liking the person I’ve become.
It’s been quite a ride - thank you.
Here’s to the next 100.
Remember, the path to extraordinary is walked with a thousand small steps, you’re doing great!
Barry Marshall-Graham
Executive coach and leadership advisor
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